1.
“Why is it that all cars are women?" he asked. "Because they're fussy
and demanding," answered Zee.
"Because
if they were men, they'd sit around and complain instead of getting the job
done," I told him.”
2.
“Money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
3.
Jeff Foxworthy
“The
problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if
you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night,
drop them off at the wrong house.”
4.
“Always focus on the front windshield and not the review mirror.”
5.
“Yes, heaven forbid I not be protected from tanks.”
6.
“Take it easy driving– the life you save may be mine.”
7.
“I used to be a bumper sticker kind of writer. Now I’m more developed, and my
writing often takes up whole bumpers.
”
8.
“Vampires do breathe, by the way, but their chests don't move like humans'.
Have you ever lain in the arms of your sweetheart and tried to match your breathing
to his, or hers? You do it automatically. Your brain only gets involved if your
body is having trouble. Fortunately there was nothing about this situation that
was like being in the arms of a sweetheart except that I was leaning against
someone's naked chest. I could no more have breathed with him than I could have
ignited gasoline and shot exhaust out my butt because I was sitting in the
passenger seat of a car.”
9.
“Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? ...
That's interesting. I hadn't heard that.”
10.
“I’d been raised to be practical and keep my
emotions
in check, but I loved cars. That was one of the few
legacies
I’d picked up from my mom. She was a mechanic,
and
some of my best childhood memories were of working
in
the garage with her.”
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